chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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