I heard we made out
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
