i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
