you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
