apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Couch. On fire.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
