If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
