apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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