Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
