There was a lot of him and a little penis
So many bounce houses so little time
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
