Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
