From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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