playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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