he wants to bone in the snuggie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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