y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
