he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
