Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I looked at my own cervix.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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