She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
