is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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