On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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