escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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