Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
