Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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