i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
