i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.