tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.