so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.