Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
