I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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