have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
