I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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