and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
