My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
