yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
