just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
