i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
