So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
