Christians are straight up FREAKS
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
