Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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