totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
