Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
PANTIES FOUND
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