yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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