can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
