i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
