I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
