barbara walters just said penis...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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