There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
