i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
