Ambien. No doubt about it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
