Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this will be a night to untag.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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