some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
