no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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