My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
