If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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