It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we made out on top of his cat.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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