I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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