Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
