I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You made out with two different species that night
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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