And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
