we made out on top of his cat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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