Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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