You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
